Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lyrics Answers!

Alright, I can’t keep you in suspense any longer!

1. GreenDay; When I Come Around

Green Day. Duh.
2. The Killers; Somebody Told Me

3. Dave Mathew’s Band; Space Between

4. Carrie Underwood; So Small

The Killers

5. Miranda Lambert; Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

6. Miranda Lambert; Gunpowder and Lead

7. Fall Out Boy; Dance, Dance

8. Reba; Fancy

Fall Out Boy

9. Deana Carter; Did I Shave My Legs For This?

10. Pat Benatar;  Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Pat Benatar

What can I say, I have a slightly eclectic taste in music. Anything to shake my grove thang to. Or not, as shaking can sometimes lead to heart burn. I ain’t as young as I used to be.

Miranda Lambert

Friday, October 30, 2009

Go Shorty, its your birthday!

And in recognition of the fact that I was born 29 years ago, I would like us all to take a moment; bow your head, and clearly chant:

Go shorty, it's your birthday!

We gon' party like it's your birthday!

We gon' sip on Bacardi like it's your birthday!

And you know we don't give a *(edited for content...)*, it's not your birthday!

Thank you 50 Cent for your stirring rendition of the Birthday Song.

Now, in the same spirit of song I would like to introduce you to a little segment I'm going to call: 

Music Friday! 

or I could call it Lyrical Fridays. And the use of Friday isn't exclusive, we could play on any day that ends in "Y." 

Anywho, the whole point of the game is to "Name that Song!" I am gonna give some lyrics and you tell me what song it is from. Ready??

1. No time to search the world around, cause you know where I’ll be found….

2. Breaking my back just to know your name; seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game.

3. The space between the tears we cried is the laughter keeps us coming back for more.

4. I know its hard on a rainy day you just want to shut the world out and just be left alone

5. I watched her for awhile but I didn’t like her walk. Came across kinda cheap to me, but hey, how’s that my fault?

6. I’ve got two miles till he makes bail and if I’m right we’re going straight to hell.

7. I’m two quarters and a heart down, and I don’t want to forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have, so I write them. See, I need them just to get by.

8. We didn’t have money for food or rent, to say the least we were hard pressed. Then Momma spent every last penny we had to buy me a dancing dress.

9. Now when we first met, you promised we’d get a house on a hill with a pool.  Well, this trailer stays wet, and we’re swimming in debt. Now you want me to go back to school.

10. You come in with your come- on’s you don’t fight fair, that’s okay, see if I care. Knock me down it’s all in vain; I get right back on my feet again.

Man, this is fun. I have some crazy music on my phone. We might need to repeat every Friday just to get in the mood for the weekend. Maybe we can call it “Crazy Music Friday”, or “Guess What B-Dub Was Listening to This Morning.” Oh, how about “Random Thoughts From The Shuffle.” 

Holy Cow, some Primus just came on. Have you ever heard “Amos Moses?” Well, let me expand your horizon. Please keep your hands and feet inside until the ride comes to a complete stop. And remember, if you don’t like it blame Charley. He downloaded it. Oh, yeah, And Enjoy the Ride!

Stay tuned tomorrow for the answers to the quiz!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Pumpkin Carving For Dummies

Would you like to learn the secret for carving perfect pumpkins? Well, me too. So let me know when you find out. Here in B-Dub land we do it our own way. And we did it our own way last night. I would also like to mention that pumpkin carving is usually the territory of Dadda, NOT Momma B-Dub. And I would also like to mention that Boys are from Mars and Girls are from Venus. And I like egg rolls.

These are what we wound up with. Three big ol' pumpkins of dubious origin. The Triangle Man is mine, with some help from T. The middle guy with the huge honkin nose is smallest punk's, and the guy on the end my oldest punk created and CARVED all by himself. Yes, Internet friends, I did let a 9 year-old boy handle a knife, all by himself. With only T watching over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't gonna lop off a finger or two. Don't tell anyone, but I think T had fun. And two heart attacks.

Now when I say Girls are from Venus and Boys are from Mars I want to watch my two punks in action.

"You want me to stick my hand in WHAT?"

Mom! I bet I can get the guts out faster than you can!!!

Ummm, I think I will pass on the gut scraping. Its just not ME!

I am the GUT SCRAPING MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then there was this guy:

Oh Man, oh Man, he is a keeper. He isn't from Mars yet, but he IS in the running for Spaz MaGee 2010.

MOMMA!!!!!! Your not doing it right!!!!

At that point I was done. Check out the FORCED GRIN! All I could think was "Just you wait kid, I'm gonna take a handfull of pumpkin guts and smear it in your HAIR! Then you will smell like pumpkin..... only, then I would have to clean you up.... maybe I will hold off on that idea for a few years. Maybe by then I will have my anger issues under control. Maybe....

And here they are in all their splendor. And I didn't even smear anyone with pumpkin guts. I think Dadda gets to play this game with them next year.

And beleive it or not, it wasn't till I was looking through these pics that I noticed my littlest one wasn't wearing any pants. Send help, like yesterday!!!!!

I had to throw this one up too. Just check out the look on bigish punk's face! CLASSIC! This is his "I have a pesky three year old sister who won't sit still so we can get this whole picture taking fiasco over with" look. I love my punks! And I am really glad that smallish punk at least had the decency to put on panties. Otherwise this pic never would have made the cut.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Finishing up the Pumpkin Patch... finally.

So after escaping the Whiny Girl Who Shall Not Be Spoken of Ever Again Who Might Have Been Wearing A Pink Shirt; we went through the corn maze. It was my very first corn maze experience. And it was a good one let me tell you. Now keep in mind that we had already enjoyed the bounty of the pumpkin patch for a few hours; and that we had awoken the smallish punk from her nap in order to stop and pick up the hideous pink Dora the Explorer hat that will haunt me in my sleep; and that we had been bowling the night before and stayed up till like 11pm. And anyone who has a smallish punk of the 3 year old variety knows that up late + no nap + hours at the pumpkin patch jumping in the hay = no fun in the corn maze.

And I was really looking forward to the corn maze. Did I mention that it was my first one? Everything started off really well. At the entrance to the corn maze we were given a paper with 10 boxes on it. Our mission was to find all 10 stations in the maze and utilize the stamp at said station on the corresponding box on our paper. Sounds easy right? And it started off easy. We found the first station NO PROBLEMO! And the next thing we knew we were at station 6. What happened to 2-5 we did not know; but we trudged on. Oh how we trudged.

Mostly the trudging was cause Bekum had Ty-Guy in the Snuggli, and Punk #2 was insisting on me carring her. And she got big this summer. And my back isn't what it used to be. And did I mention the bowling? Bowling uses its very own muscle groups. Muscle groups that were atrophied in my case. So carrying a 30 or 40 pound punk through the corn maze wasn't gonna happen for long. And it didn't. And she was ticked but Momma B-Dub made her do it anyways and Dadda was on the phone and he said it was for her own good anyways so Momma B-Dub didn't feel the slightest bit badly for Punk #2 cause it was for her OWN GOOD!

And do you see this guy. The one way up above the corn field in the "make him go up and down thingy that I don't know the technical name for"???? Well, his up and down thingy is located in the smack dab middle of the corn field. Now imagine trying to find 10 stations in that mess with a small, now exhausted, wanting to be carried punk. FUN!


Do you know the Spongebob Squarepants F-U-N song?
F is for Friends who do stuff together
U is for U and Me
N is for aNy time and aNy where at all; down here in the deep blue sea!

And then Plankton takes over:

F is for Fire that BURNS down the WHOLE TOWN
U is for Uranium BOMB
N is for NO SURVIVORS! (at this point Spongebob interrupts)

This pretty much describes the mood swings littlest punk went through today. Started off happy like SB then turned into Plankton, and finally when we reached the actual PUMPKIN portion of the PUMPKIN patch she returned to Spongebob.


 So Many Pumpkins; So Little Time......
But whats really great is the Hay Tractor in the back ground. Who knew you could make a tractor out of hay? Not me! And you know what else. While we were there a lady came up and laid her 8 day old baby in the middle of these pumpkins and called him the "Pick of the Patch." Oh, My, Goodness! I want, no I NEED to have another punk so I can take him/her to the pumpkin patch upon his/her 8th day of life outside the womb to take fabulous pictures and call him/her the PICK OF THE PATCH!!!!

Although this will take considerable, meticulous planning. And I will have to get the Hubby to agree. And that isn't gonna happen but he might cave on the whole "Pygmy Marmoset" issue. He did in fact tell me that he would rather have adorable tiny baby monkey than have another offspring. So I think thats a "NO" in the baby department.

Although, I haven't used the "Pick of the Patch Picture" argument with him yet. Maybe.......

And will you just look at this mug. Who wouldn't want another one of these running around? Or how about this next one? Hmmm? Who can resist the cuteness of Ty-Guy with his very first pumpkin. Even if his Momma picked a GREEN pumpkin instead of a traditional orange. Mean old Momma Bekum. Although she did bring his John Deere blanket. He fit right in with all us other County Folk.

And the Hay Tractor.

Thus ends our trip to the pumpkin patch. We did make it home with three pumpkins, and tonight we carve people. Wish me luck- and Bekum, don't worry! We are gonna wait till you are off of work to begin; Wouldn't want you to miss out on any of the fun!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pumpkin Patch and the Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt

So something kinda creepy happened when at the pumpkin patch, but I will get into that later….
Something really got under my skin while we were at the pumpkin patch, but I will get into that later....

Like I said yesterday- my oldest Punk is losing his enthusiasm for baby stuff.  He thinks he needs to have an opinion. Where did he get that idea? I never told him he was old enough to have opinions. Hmmm, what am I supposed to do with a nine year old, prepubescent boy who has started forming opinions? Show him some tractors. Apparently.

Now, I don’t know if you are aware- but I am NOT a photographer. In fact, I can’t even find my battery charger for my camera so I have to use my phone to take pictures. But I don’t feel so bad because Bekum is having the same predicament. I am not alone in my lack of camera using abilities.

So, when I say I am not a photographer you should know that I do my best. Unfortunately I have a special talent for snapping the shot right as EVERY ONE in the picture is looking in opposite directions. For example:

I did almost get Littlest Punk in this shot. Its almost like she knew how hard I was trying to get a good pic out of the deal. Almost like she was throwing me a bone. Or that she knew the kid waiting in the pink shirt was a whiny brat who was complaining very loudly that it was HER turn to get on the red tractor. SHE needed to take pictures with it because red is HER favorite color. And her Mother says "Well, if those other people ever get down I will get you up there."

Dear Lady with a Whiny Kid in the Pink Shirt,

We have not been formally introduced, and I would like to keep it that way. Today you decided to bring your child to the pumpkin patch. I too decided to enjoy the pumpkin patch with my children today; so we have something in common. Now that I have cordially established that we are:
1. both parents
2. both decided to bring our children to the pumpkin patch
3. both are allowing our children to play on the tractors
I would just like to mention how annoying your child is, and how I really and truly do not appreciate how you are feeding into her tantrum. I will not apologies for allowing my children to enjoy the red tractor for more than thirty seconds.

 You will never know how hard it was for me to bite my tongue and not let you have it right there in the middle of the pumpkin patch. You see, I was trying to take a picture of these three cute kids because they all share something in common- their Dad's are not here.

My two haven't seen their Dad since MAY, and little Ty-Guy's Dad just deployed to Iraq (again) in August. So please shut your childs mouth, and allow me the extra few seconds it takes to snap my fingers 10 times to get Ty-Guys attention, and we will be on our way. And please do not come near me or my children at any point during the remainder of our visit to the pumpkin patch because I don't think I can bite my tongue any harder than I already have. Thank You,


Needless to say, we moved along to the next tractor before Momma B-Dub really came unglued.

And my punks enjoyed more tractors without Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt sitting behind us whining. It was heavenly. And my punks even started getting along. As in, they had fun TOGETHER. Like, I wasn't even forcing them! Whoo Hooo!

Tractors; bringing families together one pumpkin patch at a time!

I mean, just look at that FACE! The Lage-ish Punk actually SMILED at the Small-ish Punk! Every parent's dream unfolding right before my blackberry! And then, you will never guess what happened! I actually got a shot of the two punks while they were LOOKING AT ME!!! Its a first people, its a first.

Now if only I could tear that horrid pink Dora the Explorer hat off of my littlest punk's head......

Now back to the kinda creepy thing that happened while we were at the pumpkin patch. I don't know if you have heard; but some pumpkin patches are haunted. The ghosts only come out when little Whiny Girls in Pink Shirts follow around semi-normal children and whine at them the entire time their mother is trying to take their picture. I have documented proof. I took a picture of my oldest punk next to the largest John Deere he has ever seen, and when I got home and e-mailed them to myself (because I can't figure out how to sync my phone with the computer so I spent almost two hours e-mailing each picture individually and killed my phone battery...) I noticed that one tractor pics was different than the rest. One had a blurry something next to my punk. I think its the Pumpkin Patch Ghost that only shows up when a Mom is super aggravated by someone else's whiny kids. What do you think?

And I promise that after today I will never again mention Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt. Amen.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Pumpkin Patch, post 1.

We took the kids to the good ol pumpkin patch this yesterday. The pumpkin patches of my youth have transformed into a whole other entity. They are no longer row after row of pumpkins of every shape and size. Well, they do have rows of pumpkins but what I am saying is that the pumpkin patch has turned into some sort of amusement park type thingy. There is so much to do- it took us all afternoon. And boy, did we have fun.

We started off letting the kids play on the bouncer and in the hay jump. Why do I feel a redneck joke a coming? How bout, You know your kid is redneck when they jump on hay bales instead of trampolines? Ok, so maybe I’m not the best at redneck jokes. Sue me.

We then decided to hit the hay ride. Only we got the new trailer with built in seats and no hay bales. There was hay scattered on the floor but none under our butts. I love hayrides where we don’t have to sit on hay bales. Hay bales tend to poke you in places not meant to be poked. I always say, if it never sees the sun- don’t poke it with hay. Or something along those lines.

This was Bekum’s first time taking Ty-guy to the pumpkin patch. Mostly cause he is only 6 months old and wasn’t around in last year to enjoy the hay rides. But this year he moved up in the world. This year he not only went on his first ever hay ride; he also got to eat his first piece of hay. He is Southern already! Makes me

My littlest punk  did not enjoy the hayride. Better stated; my littlest punk had a blast until I took out my blackberry to try and snap some pics to send to her Dadda. I couldn’t bust out my camera because I lost my charger and the battery is dead. I haven’t told Charley yet- so shhhhhhh! I lost it back around the fourth of July. I think it might be gone for good.

Now, in my littlest punk’s defense; it was really windy on that hay ride and it might have been my super shalacked hair jabbing her in the face that made her close her eyes in this pic. I made sure to use 2 whole bottles of Freeze and Shine Spray before we went. I didn’t want my hair falling flat. Nothing worse than flat hair at the pumpkin patch.

My oldest punk had reached a new stage in his life. It’s called “I’m too cool to enjoy baby stuff like hay rides.” It makes me sad cause he really is only 9. I still enjoyed a good hay ride at 9. Then again, anything to get me away from my pesky brothers was okay in my book.  But he did let some of his boyish enthusiasm out when we were checking out the tractors, and again in the corn maze. It made me happy.

To be continued…