Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pumpkin Patch and the Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt

So something kinda creepy happened when at the pumpkin patch, but I will get into that later….
Something really got under my skin while we were at the pumpkin patch, but I will get into that later....

Like I said yesterday- my oldest Punk is losing his enthusiasm for baby stuff.  He thinks he needs to have an opinion. Where did he get that idea? I never told him he was old enough to have opinions. Hmmm, what am I supposed to do with a nine year old, prepubescent boy who has started forming opinions? Show him some tractors. Apparently.

Now, I don’t know if you are aware- but I am NOT a photographer. In fact, I can’t even find my battery charger for my camera so I have to use my phone to take pictures. But I don’t feel so bad because Bekum is having the same predicament. I am not alone in my lack of camera using abilities.

So, when I say I am not a photographer you should know that I do my best. Unfortunately I have a special talent for snapping the shot right as EVERY ONE in the picture is looking in opposite directions. For example:

I did almost get Littlest Punk in this shot. Its almost like she knew how hard I was trying to get a good pic out of the deal. Almost like she was throwing me a bone. Or that she knew the kid waiting in the pink shirt was a whiny brat who was complaining very loudly that it was HER turn to get on the red tractor. SHE needed to take pictures with it because red is HER favorite color. And her Mother says "Well, if those other people ever get down I will get you up there."

Dear Lady with a Whiny Kid in the Pink Shirt,

We have not been formally introduced, and I would like to keep it that way. Today you decided to bring your child to the pumpkin patch. I too decided to enjoy the pumpkin patch with my children today; so we have something in common. Now that I have cordially established that we are:
1. both parents
2. both decided to bring our children to the pumpkin patch
3. both are allowing our children to play on the tractors
I would just like to mention how annoying your child is, and how I really and truly do not appreciate how you are feeding into her tantrum. I will not apologies for allowing my children to enjoy the red tractor for more than thirty seconds.

 You will never know how hard it was for me to bite my tongue and not let you have it right there in the middle of the pumpkin patch. You see, I was trying to take a picture of these three cute kids because they all share something in common- their Dad's are not here.

My two haven't seen their Dad since MAY, and little Ty-Guy's Dad just deployed to Iraq (again) in August. So please shut your childs mouth, and allow me the extra few seconds it takes to snap my fingers 10 times to get Ty-Guys attention, and we will be on our way. And please do not come near me or my children at any point during the remainder of our visit to the pumpkin patch because I don't think I can bite my tongue any harder than I already have. Thank You,


Needless to say, we moved along to the next tractor before Momma B-Dub really came unglued.

And my punks enjoyed more tractors without Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt sitting behind us whining. It was heavenly. And my punks even started getting along. As in, they had fun TOGETHER. Like, I wasn't even forcing them! Whoo Hooo!

Tractors; bringing families together one pumpkin patch at a time!

I mean, just look at that FACE! The Lage-ish Punk actually SMILED at the Small-ish Punk! Every parent's dream unfolding right before my blackberry! And then, you will never guess what happened! I actually got a shot of the two punks while they were LOOKING AT ME!!! Its a first people, its a first.

Now if only I could tear that horrid pink Dora the Explorer hat off of my littlest punk's head......

Now back to the kinda creepy thing that happened while we were at the pumpkin patch. I don't know if you have heard; but some pumpkin patches are haunted. The ghosts only come out when little Whiny Girls in Pink Shirts follow around semi-normal children and whine at them the entire time their mother is trying to take their picture. I have documented proof. I took a picture of my oldest punk next to the largest John Deere he has ever seen, and when I got home and e-mailed them to myself (because I can't figure out how to sync my phone with the computer so I spent almost two hours e-mailing each picture individually and killed my phone battery...) I noticed that one tractor pics was different than the rest. One had a blurry something next to my punk. I think its the Pumpkin Patch Ghost that only shows up when a Mom is super aggravated by someone else's whiny kids. What do you think?

And I promise that after today I will never again mention Whiny Girl in the Pink Shirt. Amen.

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