Friday, March 26, 2010

Ahh, Visits to the Doctor

I finally caved and got myself in to see the Doctor this morning. Oldest is in arse end of spring break, Littlest is the allergy queen, and I am the now over medicated.

Have you read the Twilight series?? I will shamefully admit that I have. And I have seen both movies. In fact, I might just OWN both of the movies- but only because Oldest likes them way more than I do. He even did a calendar countdown to the day of New Moon's release.

Well, one of the characters is Carlisle, a vampire doctor guy, who is described as the hotness. In the movies he is NOT what I had pictured in my head, but for an older guy I guess he isn't too shabby. Maybe.

Yeah, I only wish my Doctor could compete with Carlisle. He can't. Some people get the Cullen, and the rest of us get this:

Now, knowing that Mr. Dr is a bit of a weenie I knew I had to be somewhat patient with his bedside manner. Or lack of bedside manner I should say. (Um, I think he was hitting on me at one point). Basically I had to throw down and demand more Xanex so I can make it through a day without strangling myself (or my punks) (or my dog) (or the neighbors punks) (I think you get the picture).

Turns out he called my Xanex and raised me some Ambien. He fooled me with his p-p-p-p-p-p-poker face. Then, just to make sure there were no hard feeling for the whole "hitting on me thing" he threw in some Zolof, recommendations for therapy, AND threatened blood pressure meds. Then, get this B-Dubbers, he said I need to work out. That is basically the EXACT same thing as callin me fat. OBESE EVEN!!!  I left that office feeling a bit like Fat Bastard. 

And the killer? I DO work out. 5 dang days a week. Jerk.


  1. When I was diagnosed with MS in 2003 I left the Dr. calling my BFF telling her all I needed was a bottle of booze and she could call me Elvis.
    So tell me Elvis how you feeling?

  2. I think that's just standard for Doctor's in Australia, and probably in America too.

    Because we're both countries of fatties.. I've heard someone say the water levels aren't rising it's just our countries are sinking.

    Anyway, I think something like 70% of Australians are overweight or obese, and I think it's about the same in America.

    So if the Doctor just says "You should work out more" then 7 out of 10 times the advice will be good.

    Plus there's no harm in working out too much, is there? So it's not like they could be sued for giving bad advice.

  3. I think that's how doctor's entertain themselves by saying crap just to make you worry or tick you off.

  4. Yay Ambien. Glad you finally got nice and medicated. Love the visual aids. haha.

  5. I'm not fat. I'm an American....
    Oh yeah... best thing about the ab wheel is that it concentrates on the lower abs more when you first start out. The hard to lose part on gals or so I am told... I'm not insinuating nothing.... From what I've seen you're a hotty.
    I'm at 3/4 the way down with the ab wheel.... It'll be an ass kicker for ya....

  6. Umm, I think you need a new doctor.
    I know a good one in WI! ;)

  7. I need some Ambien over here. Maybe even some Xanex too. I can't believe he said to workout. WTF? I wish my Dr. looked like Carlisle. Hot Damn! I too was ashamed to admit that I liked the Twilight saga crap, but when I finally said it, it was like all these moms came out of nowhere saying they were in the same boat! Love all the pics :)