Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Army Wives, Well-Wishers, and Red Necks, Post 1

Note: I published this blog on my MySpace account when Charley deployed two years ago. I was on said site today and realized how very true my thoughts were then, and how relevant they still are today. Not much has changed. Poor us.

There are multitudes of types of people in this world. Three distinct groups have been on my mind lately and I feel the need to write. Perhaps through writing I will finally sort out the jumbled thoughts running through my mind.

Military wives are unlike the any other wives I have the pleasure, or displeasure, to meet. Military wives fall into two categories- regular and not so regular. The regular wives are almost normal. They wake up, take care of the kids and the house, and keep up with the day to day affairs of normal life. They are PTA moms, drive in carpools, and gossip incessantly. From the onlookers perspective you would think they are like everyone else. What is not so obvious is the daily fear of what is to come. Will their spouse deploy again? Is he already deployed? Will he spend three weeks in the field only to come home and have to go back out again? Will she have him there to help raise the kids? What will she do if he is injured or worse? The hardest part of military lives is the constant uncertainty, never knowing what lies around the corner. But from the outside looking in you can not tell they struggle. They hold their heads high, carry on, and perhaps bitch a little to friends who understand.

The second category, the not so regular military wife, is a bit deceiving. By saying they are not so regular one would think they are the minority. Unfortunately for me the not so regulars tend to be the majority. There is a large gap between the two groups but beware- things are not always what they seem. The not so regulars can do all the wonderful things that regulars do. They can be soccer moms and PTA presidents. The difference is that while regulars sleep alone and quietly pine away for their other half hoping he is okay, the not so regulars move their boyfriend in the day her spouse leaves, goes out to the bar looking for a one night stand, or spends his hard earned money on gifts for her new man. The occurrence of not so regulars astounds me.

I have met more than I care to remember, and have heard rumors of even more. Why? I can't figure it out. Why treat someone so badly? Why destroy the lives of your children? But seeing as even non-military wives make the same disastrous choice, I guess the club of not so regulars is not exclusive. It is the presence of the not so regulars that give people like me a bad name. I wish they would just knock it off but realistically there have been cheating spouses for as long as the idea of marriage has been around…

Stay tuned for more Tomorrow!

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