Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Southern Humor

You know you live in the South when…

You walk to the mailbox in the morning wearing you winter coat. It was 50 degrees out there. Better watch out for frostbite!

When it dawns on you that if you have to vacuum the bed it is prolly time to wash the sheets. (But I would like to add that the dog got on the bed and left TONS of black hairs. It wasn’t my kids- They have a bath on the regular. Like sometimes even three times a week!)

When SuperNanny, Jo Frost, becomes the #1 childcare expert on TV. Only we are mostly laughing cause she says DON’T beat the kids- when clearly they are screaming out for a butt whoopin.

When you upgrade from the trailer to the mobile home and all your friends are WAY excited for you.

When you are talking to your friend and they keep asking you to repeat yourself only you were mumbling so badly that you didn’t even understand what came out of your own mouth.  Twice.

When the golden rule is “Do unto others, but only when they can see you cause once they can’t it is time to talk trash about them” Oh, wait, that was Connecticut – sorry.

You are 28 years old and you still have a Momma and a Daddy who will never graduate to Mom and Dad.

You are writing an article for a web site (Associated Content) about Thanksgiving Dishes and all you can think of is how to make collard greens and fried okra. But you saved yourself because you remembered the Sweet Potato Pie.

When you are making a cookbook for your friends and family and 87.98 percent of the recipes call for deep frying. Or 96.21 percent of your dessert recipes contain a minimum of 2 sticks of butter.

When you sit down one day to pay the bills and realize that your credit card debt is bigger than the mortgage on your trailer.

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