Southern Cooking

So today I might have taken a few too many prescription meds which might have lead to some fun activities like writing a cookbook. Cause who doesn't write recipes when all jacked up on prescription meds? 


My big idea was to take my fav recipes and give them a southern twist. My world came crashing down about 3 minutes in cause everything I know about cooking can be summed up in 3 rules of thumb: 


1. add a minimum of 1 stick of butter per recipe.
2. for savory dishes, use Lawry's Seasoned Salt
3. deep fry everything, including candy bars dipped in funnel cake batter. Its delish, I promise.




Yeah, that about sums it up. Butter, Lawry's, and deep fat fry; the spirit of all things Southern Cookin.


That also explains why I gained like 15lbs this summer.


That, and cake. 

In Case You Were Wondering

Summer has been happening. And cake. Lots and lots of cake.

It started with a dance in the rain

Chinese birthday lunch for a punk who is now 4.

Making a new best friend flamingos named "Flamingo"

Lots of snuggles with my Bo Biscut

Jealousy. 

CAKE

Then there were these things that swarmed my babies. If you can call  4 and 10 years old a babies...

Then, the very next day, Littlest took a dog bite to the face and kept on kickin

For the first time in 2 years finally went down the slide!

And then we wound up back here. I think thats some kind of record! 3 days in a row, best. vaca. ever.

So we fixed her up with  .... you guessed it! CAKE!

Even Chubaca shared in the festivities! Just look at that restraint! And the demon eye. I think he was trying to use his telekinesis powers. Or maybe he was just constipated. 

And then I shared some finger painting skills with Chicken Wing. He is a quick study.

And now if only Bert would have her dang baby already we could call this an 

"Almost, But Not Quite, Perfect Summer"

At Least I'm Not Alone!

I was all prepared to give 12,321 excuses why I haven't blogged lately and then I looked at my reader. Turns out there are TONS of bloggers who can't take the heat and have skipped out- so I won't bore you with my excuses  although some of them ARE really creative and a few are even true. Yeah, I won't even apologize for being gone, I'm just gonna keep on like I never left. Cause you like me that way. And I like me that way. And Chubaca might even like me that way but I decided it was better not to ask. 


And to further distract you TAKE THIS:

This, my Webbers, is my Bo Biscuit. 

He lives in Georgia so I had to go to him. 

And we bonded over Golden Corral biscuits.

And he loves his Auntie B cause she feeds him said biscuits 

(with strawberry jam).

(And M&M's when his parents aren't looking.)

Now that you are totally distracted with the cuteness, I need some help over here. See, on my trip to GA something happened. I was  wrangled into a photography project of mammoth proportion. My Grandpa had a mom- yeah, I know you are totally shocked with that revelation....


Anywho, his mom collected things, like family pictures, and somehow they were passed on to my dad. And he passed them on to me. A whole TUB worth of pictures. And the tub is OVERFLOWING. The upside is that prolly 1/4th of them are actually labeled so I know who they are.... 


And some of them are tintypes (one of the earliest forms of photography) and others are from the late 1800's and early 1900's. Ya know the kind that are fixed onto thick card stock. And they smell bad. Maybe thats cause these were stored in a garage in Texas for years and years and years. And Years. smelly. bad. smells. permeating my house. smelly. bad.


And so here is the part where I need your help. I need a long term storage solution for these photos. Lets face it- even if I don't know who is in them they are still really cool to look at, and they are a small piece of history- my family history to be exact. 


Even better, this nut didn't fall far from the family tree as shown in this tintype of my great great grandfather:

ok, he is the one on the left with the dark hair and mustachio.

Not sure who Country Bumpkin or Colonel Mustard are...

Prepare yourselves for the earliest form of photoshop:

 

Thats right Mr. Arrington! 

I mean great, ummm something, grandpa! 

You rock those pants!

Said the Burro to the Grandpa,

You are one funny guy.

One day your great, umm something, granddaughter

will write a blog and show the world what a funny 

guy you are. 

I mean were, as you are dead by now...

Dangit, now I feel all insensitive. 

Stupid dead man jokes.

crap, I did it again.

But I really do need storage suggestions...

the end.

I Have Some Good News!!!

I didn't die! I vanquished the ticks! Although my mental state is currently debatable resulting from two sugar rushing kids. S'mores are a girls best friend- at least until that girl grows up and has punks of her own that can't seem to sit still or quit talking after consuming the chocolaty goodness. Anywho, I'm alive and crazy- what else is new???

They couldn't seem to keep the chocolate off their hands.

BTW- this is the view from my back door. 

Any question where the ticks come from?

Didn't think so.

This punk says she doesn't care about the ticks 

so long as there are S'mores involved.

I guess it is officially summer as the boy is now out of school. The teachers pulled a mean joke on us parents by loading the kids up with candy to bring home. Any my oldest decided to share with Littlest so I have two sugar high punks to deal with. again. for the second day in a row. help me. please.

Random Pics on a Random Day

Because my punks hate me I have decided to try and cheer myself up by sharing some awesome pics I have taken recently. I sometimes write a "Random Thoughts on a Random Day" post and this is the photo equivalent. 


BTW- I will never cook dinner ever again. It always ends in screaming, tears, tantrums, "I'm not gonna eat that" et cetera. And it isn't like I am cooking fancy here B-Dubbers, I'm talking even the basics like Pot Roast with potatoes, carrots, onions. Or Chicken Alfredo, or freakin spaghetti with Ragu freakin sauce that they specifically freakin asked for and freakin picked out all by themselves at the freakin grocery store. It doesn't matter- If I make it they won't eat it. 


Sorry- needed to rant that one for a minute. On to the funnies.

These are being sold in the MENS DEPARTMENT. I thought the cutoff for action figure undies was 6.

That couldn't have been freakin comfortable, or

 I didn't know dog noses could bend.

 

She cried herself to sleep after bumping her lip on the table. 

The band aids were self applied, I was unaware.

And for this week's winner:

Are you ready????

I need to own this car 'stach. 

I mean I really, really, really, think I need it.

Discuss.

Return of the Mullet, oh, and I Might Die.

Today the coolest thing ever happened! I was at a certain Wally store and there he was. Only, I wasn't sure if he was a he or a she. Kinda had a baby face, it was deceiving okay?? And just so you know there is a Special Place reserved for me in a place thats really hot, for sharing this one.


*Setting*
Checkout line. Super short line, only 1 person in front of me. Older lady. Young boy/girl character.


Boy/Girl character was sporting the BEST MULLET SINCE THE ACHY BREAKY HEART GUY!!!! (so sue me, I can't think of his name at the moment)


Me: (in my head, hopefully not out loud) Oh My Gosh! I wonder if his granny would be offended if I started taking pics of that mullet... Wait, is there some law about taking pics of someone else's kid? No mullet is worth jail time- thats for sure. Only this one is really close to being worth it. Ok, improvise: 


Littlest is here wearing her Giraffe clip, she loves the Giraffe clip. I bet she would go for an impromptu photo shoot. What she doesn't know is that I am gonna make sure that mullet is in the picture too! I can't wait to show this one off!  Oh man, I am not nice. I am a horrid person. I can't help myself. 


So, ignore Littlest and check out Mullet Kid (who turns out to be a boy; I'm 73% sure anyways)

Front View.

Wait! Is he wearing a Hawaiian shirt too? Classic! 

Back View.

(btw- isn't that the cutest Giraffe EVER?)

(I designed it myself. Currently working on a hippo.)

See? What did I tell you? Best Mullet Ever. 

It even has the almost curly look!!!

In other news: I think I might die soon from tick poisoning. I've mentioned how my yard is over run with ticks, right? Well- typically not an issue. Pull it off and flush it. Never had to worry.


Until the last two weeks. I had one attach itself to my hip, super crazy place to get one- maybe it had rabies and was all confused about where it was and thats why I am the sickness now??? Or maybe it's cause of the poop water. Poop water can make anyone sick. Anywho, I finally went to the doctor who loaded me up with antibiotics and steroids. And because I love you, I am going to share my sickness with you. 

I tried really hard to cover the stretch marks, fat rolls, 

and other such "mommy marks" so I wouldn't scare you too bad.

Oh, and my undies cause Charley wouldn't like them posted all 

over the interweb. At least I assume he wouldn't like it...

I now officially feel like a pharmacy. Oldest gets two pills a day, I get 3 (with antibiotic now I get 6) and thats assuming I don't take Xanex or Ambien ;) and Littlest has the snuffies and gets dosed 3 to 4 times a day. Oh, and I can't leave out the dog- he gets seizure meds twice a day. From the time I wake up until I go to bed I am dispensing meds, or waiting to dispense meds, or worrying about when I need to dispense the next round. I now have dreams about meds. I feel like a school nurse who's only job is to hand out meds and the occasional Dora the Explorer Band-Aid. 


Send help. And lets hope I don't die or anything cause if I do Charley would prolly get mad at me. And my kids might miss me someday. 

Come See My Shame

One of my Favorite Bloggers is Amanda over at Martinis or Diaper Genies (MODG). She periodically gets her crap together and posts a Confession Friday, in which you leave a comment depicting your most humiliating/gross/unusual comment. She compiles the results and pics some winners.

Guess what? I won this week. So head on over and see what you've been missing!